Monday, January 26, 2009

Secrets of Survival.

Jan 09 / Arenal, Costa Rica / Canon PowerShot SD750

I was watching “the secrets of survival” on the Discovery Channel tonight, as they were featuring an interview with a young couple that had set out for a three hour hike in the Amazon rain forest, but because of one wrong turn, their short exploration turned into a six day nightmare.
In order to teach us the secrets of survival in the hostile jungle, “the dude” was going to reenact the couples' ordeal and try his luck in the same jungle, at the same spot, and see if he can find his way out of the thick jungle.

Instead of just jumping in - grabbing a handy cam to document his trip - and showing us first hand how to tackle the dangers of the rain forest, the moron shows up with a two-man camera crew, and a local guide carrying a rifle and a machete, to make sure he doesn’t do anything “wrong” (as he so eloquently puts it).

After atrocious minutes of documentary-gone-wrong-tv-torture, and trying to clumsily tackle dense vegetation - while at the same time being slick, funny, and real - he makes it out of the jungle in two days, bragging, boosting, and all happy.

As the program ended, and the credits started scrolling, the dude poses the ultimate question
“Why was I able to make it out in 2 days, when it took the couple 6? Is my sense of orientation better than theirs? ...”

No you stupid arse!

You came out in two days, only because you were never really worried about your safety, or your life; there was nothing threatening your existence... You could at least think straight, and not panic, although you did at some points... oh wait, that was to make it look credible.
You weren’t "really" worried about getting lost in this dense emptiness. You weren’t the least ticked about being attacked by a jaguar since Eduardo behind you, walks with a finger on the trigger of his riffle. You weren’t either under the same amount of pressure for fast and critical decision making, and most of all, you weren’t subject to the terrifying feeling of loneliness that they were in, since you had your goofy buddies walking beside you, filming your pretty face make dumb grimaces every time a mosquito flew over.
You couldn't even possibly begin to feel the terror of never being able to be found that they had, since a plane was hovering above, trying to see if they could spot you... They did not have the luxury of having the information you had meticulously gathered before you went on this "journey".
They were at some point, even contemplating suicide, while your ass was clowning back and forth in front of the camera... making jokes.
In fact, and now that I think about it, the only moral and physical suffering you sustained was a few nasty mosquito bites, and loosing your integrity.

So flick off!!!

Labels: ,


At 4:22 AM, Blogger MMMMMMMMM said...

Hahaha! Wowwww now that's what i call a critic!!

At 5:24 AM, Blogger poshlemon said...


actually, this is what I call an angry scorpio lol I can relate ;)


I've been to a huge forest at night in the UK several times for some adrenaline rush. But with many friends and in the safety of our cars. And it was scary enough.

At 11:09 AM, Blogger Liliane said...

_Z! I think you should send you critic to the guy or to Discovery Channel! ma3ak 7a2 miye bil miye! he sucks!

At 5:36 PM, Blogger shoesthatfit said...

i think the guy only had the budget to rent the crew for 2 days (so he had a timeline to stick too). but the gall of comparing experiences. sheesh. now this scorp is angry and i haven't even seen the episode!

At 5:17 PM, Blogger Zee said...

I haven't seen this either, but I bet you he carried a hand-held GPS to figure his way out...

Buy the way ZouZou - I did very much appreciate your comment on "Gaza". And, I also understand that you write, delete and re-write over and over again; it happens to me all the time.
I had some discussions with Rhiannon over there on Mirvat's blog about this issue, basically using the train of thought that if you can't use canons, you might as well try something else. Rhiannon didn't bye into it ... as expected.
Instead she puts all her money onto the "blame-card" - the one I have seen over and over again. But that is in my book no strategic resolution for the Palestinians in need. It is just a blast of alter-ego satisfaction, no solution in sight...
Whatever, I might be a dumbfounded peace of unintelligent trash, but I still insist that the only way out for the Palestinians will be Civil Disobedience. This is my point of view from a stranger far away, but I will stick to it.
I could get more specific - why and so forth, but it would erode the "comment section" of this forum, so I will subside.

At 10:52 PM, Blogger _z. said...

you should have seen how angry the couple was when he was belittling their experience... especially the woman.. she made sure to put him in his place.

(zee, he had a compass!)


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home