Thursday, April 24, 2008

A Window to the Past.

Unvisited Leftovers / June 06 / Montréal, Qc / Canon Eos Digital Rebel XTi

Are you able to, like me, dig through your past anytime you like to?

Anytime you have a moment, you go looking for a past moment from your lifeline, and project it into your present; into that moment you were having.

Or had actually, since you are constantly living in your past.

It’s a bitch isn’t it?

I always thought that it was a blessing… no it isn’t.
Believe me, looks are deceiving.
I was deceived. I deceived myself. Don’t worry, I am so good with that. I am used to lie to myself. I am used to trick myself into believing, that everything I do, is what is supposed to happen.

No… no. Believe me it is tiring. Living the past over and over and over. You tell yourself, that the past isn’t so bad, since you’re still enjoying it in the present. But that’s part of your delusion... part of the hypnosis. The cycle is viscous, and memories can sting.
Without prior notice, and just when you thought that the image memory summoned is pleasant, safe, and smile-drawing, a
virus parasite thought interrupts your process recollection, and your lovely window to the past turns into a film noir.
Thrilling and interesting to go through for sure, but that wasn’t the ride you paid for.

You got fooled again. You got fooled by your own creation, and by your own being.

Here’s to memories… We live for them, from them, and through them.
Here’s to two years of urban_memories [the unfinished polaroids].

It’s been a thrill.

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10 Comments:

At 6:50 AM, Blogger Liliane said...

To memories! Cheers! They're in the past yes, but they made us who we are today!! So yalla, make more memories :)

 
At 2:07 PM, Blogger Red said...

It's been two years already? Wow, time does fly. And I guess my own two-year celebration is just around the corner...

Happy two year-versary to you!

 
At 8:41 AM, Anonymous nado said...

كان بدي قلك شي ونسيت

شو رأيك أنت كمان تنسى شوي؟

 
At 5:16 PM, Blogger Delirious said...

Uffff.... your post made me look back at my first post ever on my blog... it was on April 8, 2005.

So I guess I'm a coupla weeks overdue for celebrating my 3 years along with your 2 :)

Happy blogging to us all!

 
At 6:22 AM, Blogger Lirun said...

mine is coming up in july (i think) its pretty intense - i have written close to everyday..

 
At 11:46 AM, Blogger Mirvat said...

wow! it's been two years.. mine was born right after a very emotional time in my life. it pains me to know it's been so long since that event and i'm not over it yet.. anyway, great two years my friend. memories are becoming quite the burden for me too but i still enjoy the secret pain.
keep'em coming

 
At 12:39 PM, Blogger poshlemon said...

_z.,

reading this post made me think so much of myself and how I too lie to myself. I think you know by now that I am very terrified of looking at the past. I'm not good with it.

keep the posts coming! I love this space and I love what you have to say, whether I agree to it or not. There's lots of substance ;)

 
At 3:21 AM, Blogger shoesthatfit said...

and to think that i only discovered this blog half a year ish ago! happy 2 years!

 
At 2:11 PM, Blogger MMMMMMMMM said...

You're one piece of work, man! Your blog is stuffed with emotions!

 
At 10:00 AM, Blogger Zee said...

the truth is, outer and "inner" structures need the same intensity of maintenance after conception. It is hard work either way.

 

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