Thursday, April 24, 2008

A Window to the Past.

Unvisited Leftovers / June 06 / Montréal, Qc / Canon Eos Digital Rebel XTi

Are you able to, like me, dig through your past anytime you like to?

Anytime you have a moment, you go looking for a past moment from your lifeline, and project it into your present; into that moment you were having.

Or had actually, since you are constantly living in your past.

It’s a bitch isn’t it?

I always thought that it was a blessing… no it isn’t.
Believe me, looks are deceiving.
I was deceived. I deceived myself. Don’t worry, I am so good with that. I am used to lie to myself. I am used to trick myself into believing, that everything I do, is what is supposed to happen.

No… no. Believe me it is tiring. Living the past over and over and over. You tell yourself, that the past isn’t so bad, since you’re still enjoying it in the present. But that’s part of your delusion... part of the hypnosis. The cycle is viscous, and memories can sting.
Without prior notice, and just when you thought that the image memory summoned is pleasant, safe, and smile-drawing, a virus parasite thought interrupts your process recollection, and your lovely window to the past turns into a film noir.
Thrilling and interesting to go through for sure, but that wasn’t the ride you paid for.

You got fooled again. You got fooled by your own creation, and by your own being.

Here’s to memories… We live for them, from them, and through them.
Here’s to two years of urban_memories [the unfinished polaroids].

It’s been a thrill.

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posted by _z. @ 11:26 PM 10 comments