Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Education [the unfinished degrees].


I presented last week... wish me luck!

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posted by _z. @ 11:28 PM 4 comments

Sunday, August 03, 2008

social_disturbance [a matter of time].

The Lachenaie Series: Time / April 08 / Lachenaie, Qc. / Canon Eos Digital Rebel XTi

- Uuuuft!
- What is it Emily?
- I don’t want to study History anymore; it is boring.
- But what is history Em? It is this. What you and I are doing.
- What do you mean?
- Everything. Everything we do, and every move we make is history. It is social disturbance. Our behaviors determine a situation, which with scale, magnifies to a social perturbation, and defines a society that makes History.
 - So it is us? We are History?
- Hehe, yes in a way we are. Picture us years and years away, being scrutinized by others like us but far, far away from us. A trip in time. I know I’ve previously said, that everything is a matter of scale, but with history, it is a mater of time.

 Do you understand?

- What?
- No, nevermind. I was just… pfffft.
 - Hihihi,,,
- Get back to your books.
 - I am on the Internet dude... Much faster.
- Oh yeah how could I forget… the Internet…
A matter of time I tell you.

- Shhhhhht.

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posted by _z. @ 11:50 PM 9 comments

Monday, October 01, 2007

Justified Paranoia?

I live in one of the many colorful neighborhoods of Montreal. From on my tiny balcony overlooking the street, I can witness a whole palette of ethnicities meander by the lenses of my camera.
Despite the fact that every Sunday the neighborhood transforms into little Manila, I think that the Jewish community is still predominant in the area.

Every year the JCC (Jewish Community Center) undergoes some sort of renovation or innovation even; and this year is no different; they will be working on adding an extra building to their school. They will remove parking space and relocate kid’s playground, to make way for new architecture.

It just so happens that the firm I work for, got the commission to work on this ambitious project. Out of convenience (since I live close to the site), my boss approached me and asked if I could pass by the JCC and take photos of the existing condition; a normal and habitual procedure before embarking on the design, so we know our way around the site.
- _z, would you be able to pass by the JCC tomorrow to take some pictures?
[a moment of silence]
- I would… except you don’t want that; I am Lebanese. (I said with a smile)
- So What?
- You don’t seem to understand. The JCC is under surveillance most of the time, and there are police cars patrolling the area around the clock.
- It’s true I didn’t think that way.
- It’s just that they are going to ask so many questions, and being Lebanese will most probably complicate things.
- Give them your business card, and you’ll be fine!
- Hahahaha, you think?
- Okay! I’ll ask M-E to go.
A few minutes after this conversation was over, I felt like shit. This wasn’t like me. I never thought this way before. I have always tried to evade prejudice and classification, and more so, I never was afraid of anyone. Something stung me that day, and made me decide to see race and religion.

Nothing will ever be right, as long as humanity is still plunged in this mechanism of hypnotic paranoia. I also fell in her trap. I am stupid.

A day goes by, M-E comes back from photo day, her face black with anger. A. had gone with her. He is going to be working on the project also, and might as well visit the grounds; his tagging along had proven to be an excellent move. Upon arrival, the guard intercepted their work. He forbade them to take further pictures.
He never addressed a single glance at M-E.
She spoke; he pretended she is not in his realm.

When they told the story, we all laughed, and started picturing what would have happened, if I had accepted the task.

----
The first layer of the story details, how my Paranoia was justified, and how I had the right to have been skeptical and hesitant.

The second layer tells a different story: Any “center” or institution, would have asked questions if approached with a camera lens.
It is even imperative in times like this.
So why am I telling the story to begin with. Why am I writing this?
Forget about the part of the guard not looking at M-E… that’s fanaticism. I despise fanaticism in any shape and form, so that’s not the issue.

Why am I telling the story this way? Why am I presenting it like that?

Here’s what I think about differences:
At first level, there is no fear.
We have personal friendships.
When it groups to a big number, it gets a bit weird.
At the level of communities, the “malaise” occurs.

So it’s all a matter of scale really.
And maybe, just maybe… my paranoia was justified after all.

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posted by _z. @ 12:27 AM 16 comments